Laura Trentham
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What I've Sacrificed for Writing

9/14/2014

6 Comments

 
I was discussing TV shows with my hubby the other night. He wanted me to watch Falling Skies with him. I told him I did not have time to pick up another show. (He already got me addicted to Orphan Black.) His response? “You have the time; it’s just not a priority.”

Well…he’s right.

My free time is limited these days, and I’ve cut back on certain things. I went from stay-at-home mom with plenty of time to volunteer at the school and watch TV to a full time writer on deadline while trying to do all the a stay-at-home mom stuff like making dinner (These little humans running around my house require constant feeding!) Things have changed, priorities have shifted, and it’s a work in progress. One thing I’ve had to work hard at not letting fall off my list is my relationship with my hubby. It’s honestly been difficult to find the right balance.

Here are some things I’ve had to cut back on or cut out of my life entirely:

1.      Morning television. It was nice to know you Kelly Ripa. Maybe we’ll catch up over the holidays.

2.      Volunteering. I know the greatest joy we get in life is giving back. And, I’ve done a lot of it over the past few years. From helping to run a local Mom’s Club to organizing our PTA Carnival to corralling eighty kids for an afterschool Lego Club. Someday, I’ll dip my toes into something worthwhile, but right now, I’ve backed off from volunteer commitments to focus on something else that gives me joy. Writing. Do I feel guilty? A little, but I’ll get over it.

3.      Cleaning. I’m not going to claim to have been a neat freak even before getting the writing bug. But, my family never had to dig through the pile of clean, unfolded laundry on my bedroom floor for a pair of undies. I can say with ~95% confidence you will not leave my house with a food-borne illness. However, if you are allergic to dog or cat hair, you’d better bring a bottle of Benadryl and/or an inhaler.

4.      Reading. I know this seems counter-intuitive. Most writing advice tells you to read, read, read in order to be a better writer. And, I do agree…to some extent. I AM reading for huge chunks of my day. But, I’m reading/editing my writing or reading/CP’ing for other writers. I’m also hesitant to read in the genre I’m writing, and these days I’m writing both contemporaries and historical romances. I’ve read interviews from Big Time authors who don’t read in their genre either, so I feel justified. I’m mostly afraid I’ll subconsciously transfer something. But, I’m a member of a kick-butt book club, and I always read our selection. Usually something highbrow and literary (and depressing).

5.      Exercising. This is one area where I’m searching for balance. Mommy no likey the writer’s muffin-top I’ve cultivated over the last winter, and as I am a tad over forty now, it’s proving more difficult to control the expansion. But, I have a difficult time leaving my writing for a workout if I haven’t reached my word count goal for the day.

6.      Socializing. My days of gossiping in the PTA room or grabbing coffee or heading out for girl’s nights are on the wane. Besides my book club ladies and my local writing friends, who I see on a regular basis, there are only a handful of people that I call on a regular basis. I’m still close to a group of college girlfriends, and we get together a couple of weekends a year and email regularly. But, to be brutally honest, I don’t have time to expand my base of friends. Don’t I sound horrible?

7.      Sleep. I think we’re all in this dozy boat, right? I’m either going to bed late to spend time with my hubby and/or getting up early to write before the kids wake up for school. The result is a deficit. Lack of sleep makes me very grumpy. So, back to Number 6…maybe you don’t want to be my friend anyway:)


What about you guys? Anything you’ve given up to pursue writing or another dream?

6 Comments
Shelly Alexander link
9/14/2014 12:21:37 pm

Laura, the only thing I have to add to the list is sanity. I've definitely given up a little sanity to follow my dream!

Reply
Suzanne link
9/14/2014 08:47:13 pm

Honestly, the one thing I've given up is the socializing part. The only way I found I could be productive is if I blocked off specific hours during the day to get my work done. 7:30-2:30 was my writing time. That meant no appointments, no meetings, and no coffees/lunches. After the kids came home from school, I put my work away and caught up on errands and, well, life. But the one thing I would encourage you never, ever to give up is exercise. We sit on our butts too much in our jobs, exercise--to me--is mandatory. And not just for our bodies, but for our minds.

Reply
LauraTrentham link
9/15/2014 08:03:09 am

I know you are right, Suzanne! We did get a dog back in May, so I'm forced to at least walk her. I've also been spending part of the morning standing up and writing with my laptop. I thought I would hate it, but I actually like the standing part. I prefer my two monitor set-up in the office, but its not bad. I do need to get back to running...

Reply
Asa Maria Bradley link
9/15/2014 05:47:14 am

My non-writing friends have for the most part been very understanding about my disappearance from social gatherings. Basically, if you're not my work colleague or a fellow writer, chances are, we've not seen each other for months. Thank goodness for social media so I can catch up on what's happening in my friends' lives.

My full time day job is as a college instructor and I used to be available for new initiatives and committees, fun and interesting things that would improve my students' learning experience some time in the future. In order to meet my writing deadlines, I had to learn to say no to everything that doesn't directly impact the improvement of learning for my students.

Oh, and what Shelly said. I've definitely given up on my sanity.

Reply
LauraTrentham link
9/15/2014 08:06:55 am

Its all the extra stuff that has to go, right? I'm alot less willing to put myself out there to make new friends for sure. (Hubby calls me anti-social:) But, mostly I've cut back on volunteering. Last year I was in the school almost every day, this year, I've haven't been in once.

I'm lucky that writing is my "job" although its basically a part-time job. 8-1:30ish. But, I love every minute of it.

Reply
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    Laura Trentham

    Author of Historical and Contemporary Romance


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